What do these words mean?

 Let's make a pact. Yeah, y 'know, a declaration. A promise,... that we'll be kind to each other.

The world is in a mess. Has been for a long time.  Not that there's anything new on the horizon, but between tic tok, twitter (X), Facebook, Instagram, Threads, nothing is kept under wraps for too long, nor can it be. Perhaps, even , nor should it be. We're more in touch in this era than we ever have been. And maybe that's the rub: since we're in contact more, maybe we should be more intentional about being kind to each other. Couldn't hurt,.. may even help.

Russia and Ukraine are at war with each other. Palestine and Israel are at war with each other. Countries on the African Continent are at war with each. The U.S is in conflict about the war between the races and assault weapons in neighborhoods. The internet makes no apologies for its openness to predators both sexual and financial. Nor do any of us make apologies for our inhumane treatment of other humans. Courtesy. Respect. Integrity. Dignity. All of these words are burdened with meaning. But we sometime talk in generalities.  Do we really know what's involved in giving respect to someone?

Carl

 

 

 Carl is a unique guy. Literally, one of a kind. He's a Catholic Priest. No,.. wait, he's a Priest of the Mennonite Church. But then, he tried for the Episcopal Church,... was told he wasn't Catholic enough,,..  whatever that means. But here's a man who believes in himself, --and his cooking-- and stands firm on those beliefs. Above all, he is the Rev. Carl Yusawitz, ordained to Ministry, and he's my friend. 

 

And he's a friend among friends.  Let me tell you a story.

Several years ago, my wife Pat, had gastric bypass surgery. It was a melancholy day since, on the same day, my beloved God-Sister Betty Ann, passed away. We expected Betty Ann's death since she had long been on a decline since her metastatic colon cancer diagnosis. So the  phone call from Betty Ann's daughter Joy, while I was in Einstein's waiting room during Pat's surgery, was not surprising. In fact, we expected that she would die that day. But since I couldn't be in 2 places at the same time, I wasn't at her bedside, I was with Pat.

The surgeon came out of nowhere.  I don't remember him approaching me, but there he was.

"She did fine", he said, with a warm surgeon's smile. "But her liver looks a little funny, almost speckled, "We'll keep an eye on it, and she'll be in recovery for a couple of hours and then she'll go to a room", I thank him for his care and the update. The he's off.

A couple of hours pass, I ask the people at the desk for her status.  They have no record of her, and certainly can't tell me where she is at that moment. 

So the situation is this: Betty Ann just died, my wife is out of surgery, her liver looks funny and no one knows where she is. And I'm in a state of confusion, my mind almost in a complete state of disorientation.

Except that Carl had come to sit with me for part of that and even though he had left before I received the call about Betty Ann, his spirit remained. What he stood for, was with me. His aura of friendship and  love, clothed me.  That's HUGE, and remains with me to this day.

Its true what they say, that true friends are hard to find. You know them by their aura of love. 

Thanks, Carl.

The view at PennDot

 If you're from Pennsylvania, you know immediately that PennDot is the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation. Not a mental giant to figure that out.  But, like other states, if you have a driver's license, you pend time in the local Department of Transportation office,.. applying, renewing, re-instating. For me, this year was my turn to renew. A fairly mundane activity on a chili but sunny  Saturday afternoon in February.

But you can find familiar and captivating scenes everywhere you go. Like the parade of dutiful parents going through the ritual of helping their teenager obtain their driver's license. A tentative yet joyful teenager, an anxious and questioning parent. ... Yeah, been there done that. But I remember being joyful with my now grown children when the 3 of them were teenagers, getting their first driver's licenses.  So I got to do that 3 different times with 3 different personalities and in 3 different cars (all mine), so I've had the full experience. 

I was nervous for all 3 of them when they were finally in the car with the State Trooper.. My girls were of course quite anxious,.. my boy had a certain amount of bravado and swagger, carefully masking his anxiety. And me, I tried and I think successfully, to hide my anxiety , but not my support and pride.

But its funny, in the moment of being in the DOT yesterday, its was only then that I realized what I was supportive and proud of.  If you don't know me, I can tell you that I'm often a bit of a slow learner, most times it takes a lifetime. But it was yesterday that I realized that I was supportive of this moment we were bearing witness to, of them being on the threshold of adulthood. I was proud of them for taking this step. 

But deep inside I was emotional. Emotional for the joy I felt at being their Dad. I enjoyed being their Dad. 

I watched the other parents yesterday and prayed that they recognized this moment and what a blessing this moment is. I hoped that they'd remember this moment in years to come, as one of many moments they got to share as they launched their teenager into the world. Maybe they'd be emotional, maybe they wouldn't.  But like the line in the movie 'Avalon' implied, I pray that they'll 'remember well" 

So in the view at PennDot, I see several things, but the keenest viewpoint I have is that of remembering well. It sometimes comes naturally, sometimes we have to work at it. But however it come to you, remember well. You'll never regret it.

The Element of Surprise

(On the occasion of my 70th Birthday Weekend)

I like to think I'm an unsuspecting, non-conspiratorial kind of guy,..floated along in life, had my successes, certainly had my failures, tried to be helpful where I could,.. you get the picture.  But through all of this tries to generally lay low and fade to the background....  But that just my lowly opinion,.. am I laying it on too think....  Pat, says I should just tell the truth, ..if I'm capable of that.  Truth is, ..as humble as I think I am, there's never a time when I'm not talking and I'm certainly very opinionated.....  To which I say, that in itself is a matter of opinion.

Any, Pat and I headed for Miami the past weekend, ... a little R an R,  .. to celebrate my 70th birthday.  She said I need ed to get out the winter doldrums,, certainly the truth, and away for the Northeastern gray skies of February.  Neil Jr. had agreed and off we went to spend some quality time with my eldest and his wife.  I knew there'd e some outside activity, it is Miami after all, and at some point we'd have dinner. And after 4 days, back to Philly. All of that proved to be true,... its just what happened between the lines got me off balance..... and, at the same time got me on balance,,, for the next 70 or so years. 

On Friday, I'm up, heading downstairs,  and playfully exclaim,.." Good Morning Family"...  no response,,.. didn't think too much of this, but then Neil's Mother-in-Law, Sheila Monroe comes into view as she rounds the bend of the 1st floor balcony.   Hugging her I say."Sheila,,...  I thought you had gone back to Philadelphia,, what a pleasant surprise" ,  and it indeed was. Note: she had been done to run the Miami 5K,.. as had Marcella's sister Rhonda Johnson, who just at that time materialized out the downstairs bedroom,....  " Rhonda,  I had no idea you were still in town,,.... What a pleat surprise,.., and again,.. it was indeed.  I was oblivious to the plot that was brewing,.. or, in fact had already been cooked and was about to be served.

An hour passes,.. the apartment door opens,  Pat: "Look who I ran into downstairs".   My youngest brother Isaac and his family was emerging from the door into the apartment.  For a split second, I actually thought she had just run into them on the streets of Miami.   Isaac, his grandchildren, Owen and Sophia and my niece, their mother, Bianca.  We hug and then, it occurred to me that they had planned to be there, invited by my cunning wife, Pat.  And I'm relatively speech, but absolutely beyond thrilled to see them.  But, I know that I'm in the presence of greatness.  A Mastermind was indeed at work and behind a master plot. By contract I'm really slow to catch on.

Isaac and I go out to lunch,... had a nice lunch at a restaurant around the corner from Neil and Marcella's apartment.  Two hours pass,,,,,, another sighting,...   this time Derrick and Linda.  This is no coincidental happenstance, and I'm dumbfounded, as well as speechless..  This is too much,  we laugh, my mind soars again, I sit down from laughter and exhaustion.   Can't get the smile off my face or the giggles out of my mind. Then I'm let in for the plan afoot for that evening: Two nights at an Air B 'n B with Isaac , Derrick and Linda and of course the Master mind (Pat).   I'm jumpy, nervous and waiting for another coincidental appearance, at this point..  Whose, next Julia and Robynn?,,.. Bob?  Ritah?....No one shows up,, I look out the apartment door to make sure.  No one's there,.. the coast is clear,.. this is the end of it.  I can relax,.. and I do, although a part of my mind is still on Cloud Nine.

Had a great dinner that night at the apartment, then headed for the Air B'n B, a few blocks away, sttle in, have a conversation, before bed, and marvel at the surprises that have unfolded that day.  Its been a full and awesome day,.. and I've been completely blown away.  I'm not one for surprises,... never know how to respond and always feel a bit awkward, but not so today. I'm so glad they've arranged these surprises for me,.. and everyone was in on it, I came to discover later on.

The next day we meet up at Neil and Marcella's apartment and head over to the local popular hangout Mall in Miami. Put in our coffee and danish orders,  arrange tables and chairs, and are ahvimng a real good time.  Lind and I are talking, she glances off to the side, then I glance to the side,,.....Robynn, Julia, Mara and Andrew standing there grinning, at how oblivious I was to the fact they had been standing there for the last 2 minutes. I didn't have a clue that they were going to be there,  had been planning to be there for close to be months, ... The Master plot had been brought to completion.  I was completely floored, that my family had driven to Miami, taken planes, had discussed showing up in Miami on my 70th Birthday for months.

The Element of Surprise. Author Julia Cameron once said, "Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and surprise."  This was a weekend of surprises for me, A weekend drenched in love, saturated with joy, and for me, manifest with lots and lots of gratitude.

Peggy

 
I didn't have any pictures of Peggy.,... that is until I found this one on the internet.  It's from her legacy obituary page. Typical Peggy!

I Haven't thought about her in years, ..although I'm very close to her  Brother, Bob. Bob was married to my cousin, Judy, and over the years Bob's Family became very much apart of ours. In fact our 2 families became one, with Bob's parents becoming quite close with our matriarch. Then there were Bob's siblings, Bill, Ed and Peggy.

Peggy lived in Los Angeles where she was an "Imagineer" for Disney.As it turns out Pat, my wife, also had become fast friends with Peggy. Well, Peggy is no longer with us. Neither are Ed, Bill, Judy, their parents, our matriarch,.. its a lonely planet without them. But Pat, Bob and I are in for the long haul,..  In fact Bob turns 70 this week,..we've known each other for some 40 years. Happy Birthday, Bob.

So, I was thinking of Peggy this morning, not sure why,  I'm sure it has something to do with the gorgeous cloudless day,  also strangely Starbucks is mixed up n there somewhere,.. yes, that Starbucks. Another piece, Riverside, CA, is there, Uncle Joe and yes, Peggy.

It was a cloudless day in Southern California. I had been visiting my Uncle Joe, at his home in Riverside, CA. The day I was scheduled to leave from LAX, Peggy had a Doctors appointment scheduled. You see, she had stage 4 Ovarian Cancer, was resisting receiving chemotherapy, and I thought I'd go to her
appointment with her. Heading up from Riverside to LA took about 1 hour. Uncle Joe had told me it wouldn't take any less than 2 hours. But traffic was as clear as the sky and it was smooth sailing up to LA. Arriving early, I thought I'd get caught up on some work for about and hour at "Starbucks". Bu there were no parking spaces on the busy thoroufare where the "Starbucks" was located about a mile away from Peggy's apartment.   So I thought I'd head to her place,.. can't hurt to be a bit early.

"Hey Peggy,  how are you", hugging her somewhat frail body.. "I had a rough night ,.. called my Doctor, he said I should get to the hospital" " Well let's go what can I do to help you?"  So we spent the next 10 minutes, sorting through some things, she had her bag packed already., the we hit the road to the hospital.. can't remember which on, now.

So I sat with Peggy in a hospital in LA, not expecting that that's where I'd be on a cloudless day in Southern California . I had to say good bye to her in a couple of hours, to head for LAX, not knowing it would be the last good-bye we'd  share.

But a few things stand out for me:  I-91 from Riverside was absolutely clear, as if to beckon me on  to Peggy's, clearing a path for my early and urgent arrival; The "Starbucks" blocked and refused my entrance, say if to say,.. "got to turn around and get to Peggy's"; the amount of time I spent with her that morning was short, but enough to usher on to the next phase of her journey to what proved to be one of her last hospital visits, enough time to get done what needed too get done.  No time to think, but enough time to showing caring and love, whatever the universe chose to channel through me to her.

How many times do we get to be conduits of caring and love in brief moments that the Universe totally orchestrates.  Leave yourself open for that.  As we touch each other, its all part of your story,.. and their's.

Pi Gardens: Endless Beauty

 

Welcome to 'Pi' Gardens! A concept I've been tossing about the past few years is the concept of endless beauty. With the inundation of seemingly endless tragedy, street violence, mass shootings, political turmoil and even, as my youngest put it 'the people who make us laugh are on strike ', there must be a push back... somewhere. So I took a look around this morning and decided that I'd just put it out there. 'Pi' Gardens is my wife's creation. Not only are P.I. (Pat Imms) her initials, but 'Pi' (3.14159......) is the most elegant expression of relationships in the world of mathematics (and anyone who knows my wife knows she is all about relationships). But in all of its elegance and beauty 'Pi' is also infinite: 'Endless Beauty '.

Take a look around you!. You're sure to find 'Endless Beauty', in your neck of the woods.

 

Evangelism: Is this really a thing? Do we need another language?

 Where do we get off telling another human being how and what to think?  We're not them.

 I was reading "Working Preacher" this morning. Working Preacher is a website intended to inspire conversation, provide thought and context for individuals'  Church sermons/homilies. This week's commentary was on presenting the Gospel to audiences who have either rejected the concept of organized religion, the concept of Jesus, or, the concept of God. I other words, How do present the Gospel to those for whom the Gospel is foreign?

 Well, this commentary achieved its goal with me.

My story: I've been well schooled in concepts relating to God, Jesus, afterlife and religiosity. I know the language well. So well in fact, that its literally written on my soul. For me, and the way my wiring has evolved, it makes sense. Perhaps it can be described as genetics of the soul.  My genetics of the soul are deep. At least 100 years deep (from what I know, my family has been associated with Zion Baptist Church for close to 100 years). Is been in the air I've breathed, the food I've eaten, the word's I've spoken and the. words I've heard. Its been in the life I've tried to live.  Its been given to me.

 But this is not true for everyone. Most of us do in fact live " Lives of quiet desperation", as Henry David Thorough might say. And in that living, that human experience there a 8 million ways of looking for something. If we're alive, what we have in common is looking for a path to experience life.  Many experience life through the senses of trauma where varieties of trauma has shaped their existence. When those of us who have lived hundreds of years through the senses of religiosity speak to those who've lived 100 of years through the senses of trauma without reprieve, relief or hope are we speaking in language that is understood?

The changes in our world are colossal and daily. It would be fair to say that in discussing concepts related to religiosity, particularly where Christianity is concerned, to audiences where unfamiliarity reigns, the existence of Jesus can't easily be explained. The concepts of the virgin birth, the resurrection, the ascension, are complicated. How do we explain them: "Jesus Saves".  Really?? What if I don't need saving? What am I being saved from?  " No one enters the Kingdom, but through me". What Kingdom?  Why do I want to enter the Kingdom? "The Kingdom of God is at hand".  Is that a fact.  I can't see it.

If I were not well schooled in the "art" of religiosity, would any of this make sense, or be compelling to me? Yes I may be looking for changes in my life. Yes, I may be looking for hope. Yes I may be looking for a guidepost. And, in the moment, some of this may be the remedy I need. But what about the endurance required for the long run?  For me, if I'm unschooled in matters of religiosity or faith, I don't hear attractive arguments. Is this even a good place to start. Let's talk about God. Who, What, Where, is God? In the words of astronomer Neil DeGrasse Tyson: "I don't see evidence".

The continued use of language such as "sin", "resurrection", and "being saved", language that is at least 2000 years old is of questionable value in a day when there is "no evidence" that these terms are related to God. Religion is a complicated matter to be contextualized for understanding. Two-thousand year old language does not contextualize or connect ancient events to present day living.  Maybe the language we're looking for is different. Maybe, we're past the time when spoken language adds relevance to the words. Maybe its time for us to realize that spoken language has always underrepresented the words. Maybe its time for us to realize that Actions do that!!