Been a longtime between blogs,... but life has been hectic in recent weeks, professionally and personally. Its taken me to L.A. this week to visit with my Uncle Joe, my Dad's youngest brother. Visiting here with my brothers Derrick and Isaac trying to help Uncle Joe with personal and relational affairs, but far be it from us to help this active, independent and autonomous, in spirit anyway, 90 year old with anything. Still, he's showing signs of decline as many 90 year olds do and its hard to witness the slow but steady and certain reduction of autonomy, and, I'm sure, far more difficult for him to release it.
"I'm Joe Pitts", he defiantly stated during our somewhat hectic exchange that had included a visit from paramedics responding to the alarm that mistakenly was triggered by his medical emergency "necklace" while bathing. I had expressed concern, as had his children, that he might fall while trying to maneuver in the washroom. "I try to tell everyone that I'm not going to fall. "I know how to fall without breaking my hip. " I'm Joe Pitts."
It was in that moment that I understood, the horror for this 90 year old man, who was faced with the decline of his own mobility. It was that vulnerable moment that shouted the palpable fear he must feel that others must come to his rescue when confronted with weakness in what had been a strong and free life. How strange it must be for him to release his grasp on independence, to appear weak,... to appear less than able. What must this say about him? Can we even begin to imagine? My soul screams NO!...But in the sadness and joy of this sharing this moment with my Uncle Joe, my heart says we must.
Earlier in the evening, he had asked me how I was doing. I responded that I was doing ok, with the usual aches and pains of an old guy. Knowing I was talking to a 90 year old and that he would laugh, he predictably snickered that I didn't know what 'old' was. He and I actually have a good time together and can talk jokingly about such matters. But he was right, of course,.. given the context of the moment, I don't know what old is. Then as if to underscore this conversation and give me some hint,...some brief tutorial and preview, the episode with the emergency squad happened. The Universe does indeed have a sense of humor....and the joke's on us.
We stare at our vulnerability constantly. If we're lucky, it smacks us for our attention, and shows only brief respites between screams of our names. But classically, we deny our eventual demise, seeking immortality in materialism, perishables, children, family, even as we ourselves perish. Not that this is bad, but the key might be not to let these things take precedence over our consciousness about where we're going. What is our path and where is it taking us? How do we handle that ultimate anxiety, our vulnerability.
Joe Pitts is not unusual, I bet. Pushing back at vulnerability is a ubiquitous, human condition. None of us wants to feel weak, or unable, or afraid. But we are all of these things.
Several months ago, through events I'm still struggling with, I came face-to-face with my vulnerability and mortality. Its not pretty, but I'm thankful for these events..... my rude yet very much needed awakening. So I'm one of the lucky ones. But so are we all. If we are already paying attention and sensitive to our vulnerability, the awakening, can be reduced to just a reminder. A reminder that our lives can change in a moment. a moment that can cause dramatic renewal, a moment that can bring about enormous clarity. A moment that can birth understanding... even if the birth is that which you need to understand and explore further. On the other hand, if you're not paying attention, .. well, its time.
Paying attention to your vulnerability is not necessarily a bad thing.... it will change your life.
So, the next time you feel frail or vulnerable, weak and afraid,..clinging to your independence and autonomy,..the next time you feel close to your vulnerability, you might think of your Uncle Joe..... I do.
Welcome
Welcome to All. This blog is a discussion site, looking at our lives through our experiences, our spiritual, and, not so spiritual lens, ....what our lives look like at The Front. We are and some would argue, always have been, in interesting times. Servants, past and present have been at constant struggle with whatever the issues of the day have been. Where do we even begin to name them: poverty, hunger, education, shelter, .... and did I mention poverty? Fifty-one years ago, President Lyndon Johnson declared war on poverty, a war by the way, we're still fighting. Then again, we've always been at war with poverty, and yet poverty has remained steadfast. Jesus apparently got it right: "The poor will always be with you." But Jesus was a smart man. Did he mean what we think? Does poverty always have to be with us. Let's talk about this, and whatever else, in real and truthful ways. Let's view our lives from The Front.
If you have come to help me, then you are wasting your time. If you have come because your liberation is linked to mine, then we will work together.
----(Anonymous) Australian Aborigine Activist
--mailto:--neilpitts@aol.com
----(Anonymous) Australian Aborigine Activist
--mailto:--neilpitts@aol.com
Contemplative Action
The Rite of Initiation: You are going to die
A shocking statement. Perhaps. But the Franciscan Priest, Richard Rohr,,who has studied the Rite of Initiation has said the following::
"Every initiation rite I've studied had some ritual, dramatic, or theatrical way to experience crossing the threshold from life to death in symbolic form. Some ritual of death and resurrection was the centerpiece of all male initiation. It is probably why Jesus sought out and submitted to John the Baptist's offbeat death and rebirth ritual down by the riverside, when his own temple had become more concerned with purity codes than with transformation. It is probably why Jesus kept talking to his disciples, three times in Mark's Gospel, about the necessity of this death journey, and why three times they changed the subject (8:31-10:45). It is undoubtedly why Jesus finally stopped talking about it, and just did it, not ritually but actually. Death and resurrection, the paschal mystery, is the theme of every single Eucharist no matter what the feast or season. It takes us many seasons and even years to overcome our resistance to death.
"The transformational journey of death and resurrection is the only real message. It makes you indestructible. The real life, God's life, is running through you and in you already. But allowing it to flow freely doesn't come easily. When you do, the spiritual journey really begins. Up to that moment it is just religion. Everything up to then is creating the container, but you have not yet found the contents; you are creating the wineskins, as Jesus says, but you are not yet drinking the intoxicating wine."
