How are we paid?

I've struggled over the years with the concept of being paid for that which we love to do.   Now keep in mind that this is coming from someone who has been paid handsomely for doing what he loved,.. throughout his career. I was blessed so that I had lengthy career in pharmaceutical research for which every 2 weeks, money showed up in my bank account. "Retired" over the past 12 years, that hasn't happened so much these days, and yet I continue to "work" in the career given to me when I was 15 years old.   The word "work" is in quotes because I don't consider doing what is the love of your life, really work.

And so, I wonder what is it that we really aim for when you are engaged in an organizational activity that you've loved all your life.

I'm a University Adjunct Instructor.  Now, let me first say that I don't believe the term "Adjunct" is appropriately applied anywhere in academia. It implies "part-time and the animal "part-time" instructor just doesn't exist.  If you are a teacher, you do it because you're committed to instruction and the word committed implies full time. You're taking student phone calls for either classes or mentorship, grading papers, preparing for classes and in generally thinking about how you, as a guide, will make your students productive members of society.

How are we paid? Monetarily, with part-time pay, no question.  So what drives an adjunct? Why do we get up every morning.  I suppose there's so much more. Here's an example of my pay:

"Reflecting this Father’s Day, I’m proud to say that much of who I am is based on lessons I’ve learned from each of these four men. Thank you Uncle Adrian for teaching me how to be a source of laughter and joy, even in the darkest of times. Thank you Dr. Pitts for helping this young man turn his wildest dreams into a reality and continuing to provide the blueprint on how to use my knowledge, and faith, to empower our community. Thank you Opa for stressing the importance of speaking your mind, maintaining a worldly perspective, and taking in all there is on this "wide open road" called life. Thank you Dad for always being the Superhero of our family and for showing me how to be resilient, selfless, and have integrity through words and action. You exemplify what it means for a man to provide for his family in totality: mind, body, and soul. Happy Father’s Day to you all and I aspire to inspire others as much as you have done for me."

My student, Cameron Golden, included me in a list of influences on his life that included His father, His Uncle and His Grandfather.  Then there's his teacher, me.  Not his only teacher, but one that somehow found a place in is heart.

That's a pay the University can't give me and its worth so much more.

I am so beyond honored, and at the same time, I'm humbled.

Thank you Cameron.

Who are these people?

Heard a story on NPR this morning about how Police and others, supposedly security people, show up to protest without proper identification as to who they are. Really" Shouldn't we know the difference between the good and the bad guys.  In the days of the "Wild West" at least the good guys wore white hats and the bad guys wore black. Not so these days, it seems.  So how do we tell the good from the bad?.... the peace keepers from the terrorists? the legit protesters from the agitators?

I'm not sure where we go with this.   I only know we need another way.

In the wake of George Floyd's brutal death and that of so many others, protests have been organized across the world as a demonstration of humanity's stance against the acceptance of such behavior by authority figures,... the police.  And the police haven't helped their cause by using rubber bullets, tear gas , pepper spray to control crowds, who, in most instances are peaceful..  Although there has been wide spread suspicion that outside agitation has been at play in those instances where there has been looting and rioting, there hasn't been a huge effort on the part of police to separate the good from the bad either.

So at the protests there are high suspicions that Police, when they can be identified, are present to agitate and threaten crowds. And indeed, theirs is a threatening presence. Whispers of "What are these guys up to?" or Why are they in the crowd taking pictures? "have been heard. And the truth is, we don't really know.  IO think I heard that at one point when brief discussions did happen, the protestors were told,  We're just here to keep an eye on things.  Ok, ..but who's here to keep an eye on you.

The question of the day: How do we identify each other? 

I'm a father, a husband, have a mortgage or rent an apartment, have a brother, or a sister, a mother and a father. I have a job. I happen to be a policeman. Its a job, good pay.. I can send my children to school, pay my mortgage and feed the family.  But I'm very afraid. Afraid that my when I go to work in the morning, when I come home at night, I have no idea, what traumas will follow me through my front door. At the end of day, I have no idea if, the next time my family sees me, it will be in  a morgue. So I live my life in constant fear.  There are real bad guys our there. My job has given me a gun as a tool of my trade. Have they taught me how to tell the good guys from the bad? How do I know which one you are?  Who,.. exactly are you?

Well, I'm a father, a husband, have a mortgage or rent an apartment, have a brother, or a sister, a mother and a father. I have a job.  I'm not a policeman. I do not carry a gun as a tool of my trade.  In large part though, my trade, my job, is to be African American in my city.  Yes, I send my children to school every day. I pay my mortgage and feed my family. But I'm very afraid. Afraid that my when I go to work to be an African American in my city in the morning, when I come home at night, I have no idea, what traumas will follow me through my front door. At the end of day, I have no idea if, the next time my family sees me, it will be in  a morgue. So I live my life in constant fear.

Oh, and a few other things. I live in fear that if I don't act a certain way on my job, I may be accused of being an angry, black man.  Or, if I don't speak a certain way I may be considered less intelligent that my co-workers. As I walk down the street, does that white woman approaching from the opposite direction feel threatened by my presence.  Or maybe I didn't get that promotion, because I am Black instead of  not being qualified for the position  Still uncertainties maybe.  But solid questions born of generational trauma. These add to my fear, but that's who I am.  Does that answer you question?

Well yeah,.. but to tell you the truth, I don't see much difference here, except when you get to the part about being considered to be angry, less intelligent, threatening or not getting a promotion you apply for. Those are big differences.

That's the conversation we need to have.

Who am I?  Who are you? Can we even form an allegiance concerning the "bad guys" and maybe have a conversation with them too?  Who are they, really?  What has it been like to be them?

We are on a small and insignificant planet, rotating around a small and insignificant star, traveling through the cosmos. And we don't yet know how to identify each other.  I find that absurd and know that we really do need to discover who's who.  Who are these people I'm traveling through space with?

How about we talk with each other, and really, really listen to each other. But we've tried that before, you say... But we try, try again, until it works, until people of good will look at each other and speak of their commitment to justice, of their dedication to benevolence and fellowship.  And know it will take time, And know that  "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice". 

I believe that it bends toward so many things such as kindness, toward friendship, toward beauty, and that in this, the Universe bends toward knowing who WE,... really are.

Trauma,.. again and again and again,.. When does it stop?

This masterpiece declaration and call to action was posted by a good friend of mine, Dr. Cameron Golden. I have known Dr. Golden to be a staunch advocate for public health issues. As a pharmacist, he is on the front-lines in the COVID-19 pandemic, but as a young African American healthcare professional, he and so many others are strong voices against the trauma being visited upon an entire generation. Please, read his post. These words should stand as an example of how we all need to unleash the pandemic of silence and then move to the direct action of advocacy. Evil does in fact prevail when good people do nothing.

"May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I feel it’s necessary for us to start speaking very plainly about an ongoing mental health crisis that’s not getting the recognition it deserves...the real-life trauma being experienced by Black men and women in this country. The trauma of having to witness the MURDER of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and the ATTEMPTED MURDER of Christian Cooper (Yes, intentionally lying to police and falsely claiming a Black man is threatening your life is attempted murder. Just ask Emmett Till). The trauma of watching a nation be outraged at a Black man kneeling to bring awareness to police brutality, yet be deafeningly silent when an officer kneels on a Black man’s neck as he draws his final breaths. The trauma of raising young Black children to be all they can be, only to send them out into the world with no reassurance they will return home to you the same way they left.

"When do we start dedicating the much needed resources to addressing this crisis (money, research, etc.)? When does advocacy for "Black Lives Matter" become part of national conversation and not just spoken of within minority communities? When do the criminals taking innocent lives get convicted for their crimes? When do Black people stop becoming immortalized in the form of hashtags and on the lips of protestors? When is it our turn to revel in the "inalienable rights" we fought for?

"We are in desperate need of these answers because I am tired of watching this cycle of trauma be passed down from generation-to-generation and I cannot afford to watch my future child become yet another victim."

Everything my soul needs

6:26 on Saturday morning. Birds awake and talking, a bit cloudy and overcast, but strangely, with the weather makings of a good day. Its quiet , except for now fading bird chatter....very quiet. And still, very still.

Took my first sip of coffee. Thinking varied and polar thoughts. Family. Shelter. Food. a sense of security. clothing, health (and insurance,... bonus!!). And did I mention coffee. Oh yes,....and a deep, fathomless sense of gratitude.  Everything my soul needs.

But all of our souls need these things. Yet so many don't have them. I stand,... but at 6:30 on a Saturday morning, I'm actually sitting), in awe of a Universe, God, creator,...you get the picture,..that handles so many varieties of circumstances. People with plenty and people starving. People with financial resources and people without. People who are homeless and people in mansions. People who are sick and people who are well.  I'm really not sure what of the point of this diatriabe is,.. only to say that I am thankful and sad at the same time. May the point is to hold the contrast in y heart, knowing that there is mystery behind it all.

Botched execution?,....The least of these?... Anything in common??

I wrote this piece in 2014. Outraged at what was called a "botched" execution, I had to describe the brutality of a system that tries to "sanitize killing another human being.  There is no such thing as a "clean kill".  The very act of trying to make our language adapt to that nomenclature speaks to our dehumanization as a planet,.. well, at least in some countries,..or maybe just one.  The U.S. remains the only country in the Western "civilized" world that uses the retribution of capital punishment. Furthermore we cannot call ourselves Christian, and continue to use capital punishment as a tool for discouraging  murder,... doesn't work, never has.

Well its 2020 now. and the madness continues, only we've added murder on the streets of America, of innocent black men, by the police.  I'll write about that too. Can you say.. Ahmaud Arbery.  Well, that's the latest of names to remember. But read on about what I said in 2014.








Its very interesting to me that I haven't seen nor heard anything written or spoken from religious leaders on the matter of this execution. To call it "botched" is a mis-characterization of this method of punishment.  It was "botched" long before he was placed on the gurney.

And as for the matter of desiring a "Clean Kill", I think there's a bit more to be said about that. We, as a society are "troubled" because we were confronted by the accused. In his writhing, Clayton Lockett--- and we should not forget his name--, made us think about what we were doing. We, as a society, were forced to watch his suffering. We didn't like that.  Despite our vanity, we really don't like looking in mirrors. We don't like to see our ugliness. Clayton Lockett's last act was to make us think about, and see our ugliness as a society. He made us look in the mirror.  

The "Clean kill" we had hoped for, was to witness an accused gently falling asleep, begin to snore, ...with that snoring becoming less pronounced over the course of a few minutes until the accused was pronounced dead. Perhaps this would have eased our consciences and given us the "peace" we sought for humanely eliminating the life of another human being. This,.. is the "Clean-Kill".  Clayton Lockett's final ,yet lasting act, was to show us that we are not humane. His departure signaled to us, that our cruelty mirrors his.  And thus, we have not ended the cycle of human cruelty, just extended it.  This is what Clayton Lockett said to us.

I did a quick internet search this morning looking for perspectives on this issue from "religious' leaders (usually quite opinionated).  I couldn't find anything. I looked for opinions from the lay media,... they were everywhere.  We speak on so many issues,.. except those that really matter.  ("Lord you know all things,..You know that I love you"  Do you? ... Seriously??)

I'm reminded of what Jesus could have been saying when He talked about the "Least of These". Shouldn't we count Clayton Lockett among The Least of These... just as we count (or don't count, for that matter) ) those who are food insecure we pass on the streets daily; those who are unvisited in prison; or without health care in homeless shelters; or without decent housing or clothing. All of us are Jesus, all of us are "The Least of These".  "As you did it unto..... You did it unto me". Just as we continue to deny each other love .. could we be continuing the cycle of denial of that same love to Jesus?   

Violence in our cities,,.. Then and now.

In all of the insane violence in the U.S., I'm reminded of a post by a family member, a few years back (2016),  describing a situation in Milwaukee of a shooting,.. hence the image on this post. In the next paragraphs are the words of that post, followed by mine:

"You probably heard that a bunch of Black Lives Matter thugs rioted in Milwaukee last night, looting businesses, vandalizing vehicles, attacking cops, targeting white people, and setting random fires throughout the city.

"As we've learned, some members of the Black Lives Matter community think it a wise decision to destroy their own communities in order to protest "police brutality." Because nothing says "Black lives matter" more than burning a black neighbor to the ground.

"In any case, this "protest" erupted because a black suspect had been shot and killed by cops earlier in the day. The mob of fools took to the streets without waiting for a single solitary fact to be released. They knew, quite literally, nothing. They heard that a guy was black and he was shot. That's all.

"Well, now we know a little more. We know that the dead suspect is Syville Smith. You can see his picture here, peacefully pointing a gun at the camera. He was, as you can tell from the picture, a thug with a lengthy arrest record. He was shot because he fled from the police during a traffic stop, then when pursued, he turned and pointed a loaded firearm at an officer. The officer fired. Syville was killed. The officer, by the way, is black.

"So, a black cop killed a black gangbanger who tried to shoot him. And that was enough to prompt a night of chaos across another major American city, yet again necessitating the mobilization of the National Guard.

"This is just insane. There is no logic to any of this.

"Racism? The cop was black.

"Police brutality? The guy pointed a loaded gun at the cops.

"Systematic oppression? It wasn't the system that caused Syville Smith to raise a firearm against the police.

"No, you can't look for sanity or coherence here. These are just a bunch of imbeciles looking for an excuse to burn things. Nothing more. If they start up again tonight, I hope the police arrest every last one of them.

"Enough. We have laws in this country. You can't act like an animal without consequences. Syville Smith learned that lesson yesterday."

My response:

The problem with this post is that if you look closely, you clearly see someone's child, someone's brother, someone's friend. And if you listen carefully to posts from cousin's, etc. you hear their pain, expressed in the language they know, but pain none-the-less. There is no question this is a tragedy of society, and yes the system did put that gun in his hand.... a system that intentionally maintains poverty, a system that intentionally withholds education from the poor, or mental health counseling, a system intent on sustaining anger in the poor. If we are honest with ourselves, when we look in the mirror, we will see that we all exhibit "thuggish" behavior. We are thugs to our neighbors who need us, who desperately need us. The problem with this post is that we should see our brother,... someone who belongs to us.

A response to my response:

I agree Neil, but there are some people who a just plain old bad too - and they are bad regardless whether the "system" was good or bad. Society doesn't create all of the bad people, but a system that traps them in poverty doesn't help and leads many down a bad path. Bad circumstances lead to bad choices.

So, where do these sample opinions leave us? What do we do about bad circumstances knowing that they lead to bad choices?   Remember that these opinions were rendered in 2016.

We're in 2020. We are still talking about this and nothing has changed. In fact one might argue that circumstances have worsened. Shootings continue. Minorities are still in poverty. COVID-19 has wreaked havoc on  our healthcare and revealed chasmic gaps in a system already rife with disparities between racies.  Can you complete this essay?  I can't! Perhaps a metaphor for, Where do we go next?

A message to Zion,,.. My home.

An interesting time,... I haven't posted much about COVID-19 here.. But I ahve posted in FB.. got to keep the people at home informed about the latest thinking o this pandemic thing.. Anyway,.. one of those posts follows:

"An update from Zion's Health Ministry.

"You've heard by now that there will soon be a re-opening of the economy in Pennsylvania.  Please do not take this as a signal that we've passed the point of caution for COVID-19. We have NOT. There is still caution to be taken because we are still uncertain about who has the disease and who does not.

"Even though testing is still being conducted in many places, it is still possible that some of us may be carriers without exhibiting symptoms. Therefore, wearing masks and having at least 6 feet between each other is critically important. If we do this, the rate of spread of the disease will be slowed.

"If you are considered at high risk---over the age of 60, have an underlying condition such as high blood pressure, diabetes, COPD or asthma----, wearing a mask is especially important if you go out doors for exercise or other essential reason. If you can stay home, however, please do.

"If you have an underlying condition such as high blood pressure, diabetes, COPD or asthma, please take your medication as directed without missing doses. If you have a prescription to be picked-up from your pharmacy, please ask them to deliver to you, if possible.

"Lastly, this is a time that is revealing many challenges for all of us. Whatever challenge is yours, please, PLEASE, do not hesitate to talk about it with someone else that you trust. Trustfully and prayerfully sharing your life's burdens with someone can be a sacred act. Likewise, carrying someone else's burdens, trustfully and prayerfully is also a sacred act. Remember that when the apostle Thomas put his finger into Jesus' wound, that sacred act called all of us to touch each other's wounds. There is healing in that.

"Be wrapped in His Love.